Good morning, folks. Yes, I'm a walking today. The end of November. There is no ground and travel typically cool kind of wish I had a brain scanner that could scan in this audio, as I thought of it. Because I think with these Greek terms and these great philosophies and try to get them out of my brain and into words sometimes it's hard and I miss points so I'll excuse myself and say I'm sorry to begin with but today, this podcast can be called Don't lose your identity. And what I mean about that come to my attention after many years of being alive, that we, including me. All of us, or at least the majority of us seem to willfully give up our identity to our significant others. And I've had this happen to me throughout my entire life. As I'm sure others listening probably have to. And this can be male or female, it doesn't make a difference can be girlfriend, boyfriend or husband or wife, it doesn't make a difference. But it happens all the time. Here's an example. I knew someone, since I was 18 years old, we grew up in the same city together, did a lot of stuff together, went around the world together, or at least three United States did a lot of things together and we always be talking to one another. Once that person got married and met a girlfriends, and then later became his wife, and all stuff. What he did, I believe, and I've done this to not pointing fingers. But what he did was to get his identity to a spouse to say here you control me. Maybe it's easier you control me tell me what to do, because we're supposed to be one and we think together as a family. And I agree with that philosophy to some extent we do think together as a family. But just because you're married or have a girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't mean you have to surrender your identity to them. And we do it. I've done it. I am just now after many many years of searching for my identity, finding out who I was,who I am. But getting back to that person. Once the marriage started. That was it. Now, do these people, husbands or wives girlfriends boyfriends, that you surrender your identity to probably subconsciously. Do they know they're taking it what they're doing with it. I gotta say yes and no. Some do some don't. But I do believe when they start getting the general feeling that Oh, he's going to do what I want. If I say this he's going to agree with me he's going to go my way. I think people can feel that. And when they do, they start taking advantage of it. I have control over what he or she does. He or she will follow me. I think to take advantage. And the person that's given this identity away just follows along they're like a little lap dog, the rest of his life or her life and getting back to this person that I knew since childhood. It's happened, like you said, we did everything together and then once this person met his his now wife, that was it. That was it. We live, or maybe three hours away from each other. Never talk. Never picks up a phone, never says How are you, what's new in your life. How have you been, never. I'd see him once a year, on a snowmobile trip. And what I did see him it was like he treated me like I was 18 years old again and didn't care about me as a person didn't say, How have you been, I haven't seen you in a while. No, I just went on. So, kind of over that and have another person that I used to live here. Or I currently live, we'd walk together every day we'd be on the phone together three four times a day, all the time. Then once he met a woman girlfriend Cuf. That was the end of it. Now I know I've done this same thing to us. Subconsciously I know I got it. But I've come to learn that that's not the way to live. You must maintain your identity, your whole life. Why would you just give it to somebody else and I thought about that. Why would I give it to somebody else. And the only answer I come up with is, I wouldn't have to think for myself and I wouldn't have to take responsibility for myself. The things I do right things I don't do so good. I let others control my identity. I think truly in a good relationship. One should never lose our identity. You know, it's the like standing on their head for hours they should be able to do that. Whenever however they want their entire lives, but we don't, I'm sure if anyone's listening to this podcast, you can relate to this. And it's always bothered me, because I truly do think of all these people that have pretty much fallen off the face of the earth and given identity to their significant other. I think a lot of bottom, but it's it's it's a it's a non issue because things aren't going to change. They've already given their identity away. They've lost track of who and what they were. And now they got to take a long search to find it back. I'm just in the middle of that it's taken me years to find mine. It's coming back but it's a long and arduous process. But it can't be done, anybody can take their identity back, it doesn't mean just because if you're in a marriage. I'm taking my identity back that means we're getting divorced Come on No, no, I just want to be me. And I want you to accept me. Maybe we're afraid that if our true identity comes out, the one we've done this for so many years, won't like me. Well, then that's their issue, your issue is to get who you were back. I know what makes you tick. What makes everything in your life go around and around. It's hard to say it's not totally been brought up. That's not how we've been taught, we're taught to engulf ourselves in our significant others become one. You can never become one like that. Each one of us has got a purpose here. Each one of us is here to learn and experience. And if we give that identity up to somebody else. What do we learn. What do we experience, pretty much nothing. And the reason I wanted to do this podcast is because this, as I've said is happening to me to this, this day to this minute. And I wanted to figure out why. Why is this happen. These people aren't bad. Okay. Some of them may have really entrenched themselves into some philosophies, religious philosophies and think that they're the only right ones and everybody else is wrong and if you don't believe what they believe and then you're wrong. We've all been down that road. We all know where that ends up or that goes. Okay. And again, this person was not religious until he met his not wife. I'm not saying it's wrong to be religious. But when you start. When you start judging others, based on what you believe is right. and based on whether they're adhering to your standards, it makes them right or wrong, there's a problem. And we can go on with this forever about religion but I'm getting back to giving up your identity. Finding who you are. peeling back the layers and saying, you know, that's really neat because in the end, that's what you take with your spouses are gonna go. Sure, you'll see it will surely become wanting him, but it's not going to be like this. So I guess maybe it concerns me that people are doing this and I've done it. And I've taken a long time to find out what I've done. The reason for making this is maybe someone listened to it. And they're much younger and they'll realize, I really got to maintain my identity forever. If someone doesn't like that identity that we're not meant to be together. If that's the case, say let me know on the other hand, I've also got a longtime friend who never got married, probably pretty much never had a girlfriend, and he and I talked to this day. And he lives on the opposite side of the country. So we'll figure that. So when I put two and two together, I say well, girlfriend, husband, wife, no he didn't have one. This one Did you see the point it points to having a significant other. And you allowing your identity to be subconsciously given to someone else. I haven't really put a finger, um, why you allow this to happen. Is it is it being lazy thinking you know let them make the decisions for me. I don't I don't want to think for myself. I don't know exactly what that is, when and if I do put a finger on it. I'll create another audio cast. But right now it's just about. Don't lose your identity. Always remember who you are. Once you find that we lost our identity from the minute we were born. We've been told what to think how to think where to go, what to do. If you do the journey, and you do look for your true identity. Once you find it, and you will. Don't ever allow somebody else to take it away from you. And if they want to. That's not the person to be with folks you maintain your identity. Take care. Love you all. Bye.